Life is full of phases and advises. There are two types of phases one goes through- 1) Some of them arrive unannounced and mostly surprise us. 2) The second type the ones which we know will be heading our way but leaves us wondering as to what it will have in store for us. I will be going by the second type, that I can broadly divide into various phases of life, which are funny, pleasant and even intimidating at times that ones goes through. I am sure most of us have encoutered these situations in life. And the best part is that each of us is made to believe that every such phase at that moment is the most critical junction of life. Advises can be best defined as ‘unwanted piece of mind/suggestion which on most occasions comes from people who indulge in advicing with out any pragmatsim. The best advices come from people who are practical and speak from experience.
Phase 1- is when a child starts going to school. I believe it’s from this point that a human’s problem starts and comes to an end only on his/her demise. The moment you pick up your books to go to school; it’s the beginning of the real world.
Phase 2- This stage comes when one writes his/her 10th class exam. There is nothing unusual about this class. The spelling and the literal meaning of the word ‘Exam’ also remains the same. But the only problem is that it’s not like any other class exam but the child’s first ‘board’ exam. And board in our country means ‘War for life’. The hype that’s build around this exam is like one has to score well if you in order to ensure a bright future. If a child fails to score above 85%( Or even more in some cases), his life is over. There is no purpose to live and his/her career is over for eternity.
Phase -Once the results are out then the child has to make the next ‘critical’ decision of choosing a stream (Science, Commerce, Arts) that would decide the track for the life ahead. I vividly remember choosing science with the enthusiasm of becoming a computer engineer. I guess even I got entised by the most so called cool profession of that time which was ‘computer enginnering’. I managed to score a distinction is science, which was not outstanding, but not bad enough to continue with science.
Scenario 1- If your results are good, the pressure starts building up for your next big ‘Exam’ that’s the 12th board which is another 20 months away. The 10th board exam becomes irrelevent, because the version now changes. The new version is that the 10th exam was like a warm up, the real battle or rather war is the 12th board exam, which would determine one’s destiny. If you had scored well in your 10th exam after all the pressure, it is unfortunetely forgotten very soon. As if all the lectures and advices one got from almost every second person one met was in last century, and times have changed, where 10th exam doesn’t matter anymore. That leaves ones wondering, ‘Wel all the hard work I did for those marks really don’t matter, but if I don’t score in the next big one (12th board exams), all the merits and achievements in school becomes immaterial.
Scenario 2- If you end up scoring less than 85%, meaning you don’t fall in the ‘bright students’ category. This marks the beginning of the ‘You are good for nothing’ period. People around you give a look as if you have commited a huge crime, which makes you feel like you have failed in the ultimate purpose of life for which you were born And after a few days by the time everyone around assimilates the reality, of the person not scoring enough to make their parents proud to make them walk with their heads high in society. The series of lectures and advices starts yet again, but the objective remains the same but yes the repuccusions get severe. ‘Score 85% in your 12th exam’, but the slogan changes.This time around its ‘Do or Die’ or ‘Make or Break’. This is your last chance to have a bright and stable future, otherwise it’s all over. Life has given you a second and the last chance to do well. The ironly remains that the last time around also the message decoded was the same, but it seems people tend to forget what they said the last time rather quickly. And finally one start’s on the mission of his/her life, to score the magic marks, which would ensure a dignified life and above all a secure future. Along with that keep preparing for the entrance exams. So the presssure is doubled, not only score well in exams, but also give an impeccable performance in all the entrance tests. Specially the one’s sitting for professional courses like engineering or medical, have only IIT, AIIMS resonating in their mind.
Phase 3- This one starts in college. And more importantly the course one chooses. If you have cracked IIT or a medical college than your problems for the time being are settled. If not than the new issues emanate. Two things matter a lot, the college and the course. In many houses or societies the course one chooses is instrumental in predicting the future. If one belongs to a small town, and has not chosen any thing other than Enginnering, Medical, than one is really considered insignificant. The next question that follows ‘So you have plans to do MBA after the course you are doing’. One barely starts going to college and if it is not a profesional course one is doing than people either start lecturing you to start preparing for MBA or remain quite, thinking that he/she is like anyother mediocre student. By the time the final year of college starts, even more questions start poping up ‘So how is your prepartion for CAT going’? And if by chance you are not interested in doing your MBA, than most people have a disillusioned expression on their face, as if you have decided to take sanyaas from life or you are not serious about your future. Till one enrolls for graduation, he/she is bound to go through this turmoil
Phase 4- This phase again has two scenarios
Scenarios 1- If you have enrolled yourself for a post graduation, than people look at you with a different perspective all together. Here again though the college from where you are pursuing really matters. If it happens to be from any other institute then IIM, then the next question that follows is’ How are the placements’. But on the whole the next two years are not that bad. One would encounter questions like every 2nd day, ‘When are you finishing your course’? When will I be seeing you working??’ You must have barely completed 2 months in the new course, but yeah you can’t evade this question. Till you don’t get a job, one is beset by the same question again and again.
Scenario 2- And if by chance you happen to work after your graduation, people will appreciate you, but at the same time keep asking you (Unless you are a engineer or doctor) ‘ So when will you do your post graduation’. No matter if the person is doing well and enjoying the job, the same question will be repeated in different voices and tones.
Phase 5- This phase begins the day you start working.And I have recently entered this phase. Well, in my case since I happen to be a journalist working for a news channel (which is yet to go on air). People keep asking me ‘So when will we be seeing you on Tv’. Yeah that’s right the day you appear on a TV channel, all those people who kept lecturing you in the form of the free unwanted advice and gave you a startled look when you expressed your desire to become a journalist, would now be telling everyone else around, that this boy is my x, y, z etc. Yes, for them coming on TV means fame and celebrityhood. Well, if coming on TV was such an easy task, I guess then majority of us would have been doing that till now. There is a lot one has to learn before you go on air. It’s a process which encompasses various stages. Now the next question that will keep emanating again and again would be’ When will I c you on TV’ till I make it. And if I don’t, than I rather change my profession, because for many, news channel means you have to be on air.
Well I don’t know whether this career move would be good or bad. But the advises will be keep flowing, come what may. The only difference this time would be that it would come from proffesional and senior people. And thank god atleast these can be taken seriously as they come from experience people, unlike those who themseleves might have failed utterly, but leave no chance to lecture others how to succeed.Advising is not the problem, but imposing it is wrong. And undermining the other person’s decision making ability is even more annoying. I think all individuals are wise enough to take critical decisions on their own as long as they are given the space and freedom to take them on their own. Thinking the other person is directionless and knows nothing is the biggest stupidity.
These are phases I have gone through. I am sure there are many more such phases waiting to arrive along with the advices. But in retrospect I have learned one thing, no one stage decides the course of our life, it’s a series of small decsions and steps that go on to shape our destiny. Life will go on full of phases and advises well one can’t stop them come what may….
